Ch 3, Hitting the road. Please, by the way, If you've already read ch. 2, read it again because I missed something!

"Allright. Now that everything is said, let's hit the road!" Bishop says. "Hmm, hittheroad, hittheroad, Oooh! Me! Me! Me! I got it!" He says, zooming towards the road.

                                "DIE!               DIE!             DIE!"


Ollie screams, pounding the road with his fist. "I didn't mean literally!" Moans bishop,  burying his face in his paws. "OoOo. I get it! We need to hit the sidewalk. 

                                                         "CHARGE!"

Ollie whizzes past you. "NO! STOP IT RIGHT THERE!" Screams bishop. "Oh, well why didn't you say so? he, he!" 

                                                    Pounce, bounce,

                                                  Pounce


"Do you like Oliver? you ask. "I really don't know." Says Bishop. You turn around seeing Ollie pounce towards a butterfly like a second pinkie pie. "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! YOU ARE FALSELY ACCUSED OF A STEALING BONE CRIME!" Ollie screams energetically. 

                                            "I just made up my mind." Says bishop.

Rabbit for dinner.

Lets just get the questions cleared in your mind:

Yes, it tasted like chicken.
No, I did not puke.
Yes, I wanted to puke.
Yes, It was not boneless.
Yes, After one bite I lost my appetite.

Now that thats cleared, lets go over some science. If you feed a deer different weeds over the year the  flavor will be gamy. Yes it will absorb all the nutrition in such weeds. And the same thing with a cow: If all it was fed until the day it was slottered (Howerver you spell that) was milk, then it's steak would be very fatty and tender. This is what a rabbit does with it's food:

When Rabbits eat there food they then poop a wet poop out. But then, they eat that wet poop to get the nutrition they missed the first time. After they poop the poop out, they poop a dry poop. That poop they do not eat.

Yes, If mom had just told me it was chicken I would be MUCH, MUCH happier.

One day I'm A Smoothie splasher, Next day I'm a Rabbit regurgitater.

What is WRONG with me?!

Extreme incident

(Next day) Ok. Let me take a break from the book and tell you an extreme incident about a few minutes ago. And its called :


I was making a smoothie and there was something on the side and so I called my mom in to fix it and it was on high and so when I turned it off I accidentally turned it off on high so when mom put her spoon in the top to fix it I tried to turn it on low and I accidentally flicked the switch which turned it on again.

Okay! fine. I said it. And you can only imagine what happens next, no. It did not go everywhere. Good guess!:

BAM! Staining smoothie smothered everywhere. On mom! On floor! On counter! and then once again…

BAM! "REAGAN CLAIR PRYOR! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!"
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I did not mean for any of this to happen!"

So yes. That is my smoothie story. And now I am in my room thinking about what just happened here.
What just happened here?

Ch. 2, Ollie top detective

"As you know, I am Oliver top defective.  And I am here to help you solve your clase."

 You decide not to correct Oliver on his terrible Grammar. "I have three sues to help us solve this clase. First, the sandwich I had for lunch. "It has a mysterious BITE MARK IN IT!" Ollie screeches. "Thats yours." Mutters Bishop.

"No it is not. Ever wondered why its called a sandWICH?! This right here could be a clase by the mysterious bone-stealing which made of sand who went around splash-potioning people!"
Ollie shouts.

"OLLIE! Did you make that up?" Bishop moans. "Yep! The second sue is bishops play stick stuffy. IT HAS GAGGER STUFF RINGED AROUND IT'S NECK!" Ollie screams.

"Clue Ollie, not sue. And thats the stuffing from inside of it." Bishop says, putting his paw over his face. "And alas but not alease, the sue that will help us solve all our problems is: THIS PEANUT BUTTER JAR I FOUND NEXT TO THE MYSTERIOUS SANDWICH! With a bite mark."

 Ollie added. You shake your head. Ollie is a terrible detective. "The peanut butter jar used to make the peanut butter sandwich you had a bite in for lunch? Ooooh, scary." Says bishop. "I Know!" Ollie chants.

"That darn cat doesn't understand Sarcasm." Bishop says. "No kidding." you say. "Whats sarcasm?! I want some!" Ollie chants, pouncing and bouncing around you.

"OLLIE! YOU DON'T EVEN NO WHAT SARCASM IS! IT DOESN'T EVEN TASTE GOOD!" yells bishop. "HUH!" Ollie loudly in hails. "Give me liberty or give me death! he won't give me sarcasm." Ollie cries.

It's a good thing you hired Ollie, top defective :)

Ch. 1, Meet me

"You know what they call me, the mystery guy." Ollie says. "No one calls you that!" Says Bishop. You sit there, trying to calm the two down before they gat into ANOTHER argument. Unfortunately, it may be to late. You hired Ollie the cat, and bishop the german shepherd dog. You are a Dalmatian, and your bone has gone missing.

"Please, Aren't you going to even meet me? or keep arguing?" you say impatiently. Because all day long, the two have been arguing. "Excuse me, I am so very sorry. I meant to ask you what your name wa…" "No, Bishop. I am the head defective and this is my atisant dog Bishop. What is your name?" Ollie interrupts.

"You mean assistant." Bishop growls. "Whatsever." "Whatever, you mean Ollie." Bishop Corrects. "NO! I said whatsever and I MEANT IT!"Ollie screams, turning toward you. "I'm Sorry, I meant to say whatever."

"Please meet me, I don't have all day and I need that bone In a week! My name is Dancer." You say. "Why its a wedge-er to meet you!"
"Pleasure, Not wedge-er." Bishop moans. "MEET ME!" you shout. You knew somewhere, sometime

you would hit the road. But that might take a while. And with all the arguing, you might even be the one discovering the bone in a week...

My new Book

Okay. You read the tidal, and it said my new book! I will post it in Chapters. No peeks! Let me just ask you one thing about it, would you hire Ollie and bishops detective agency?

Let it Go (Shut your face)

Okay, So I'm assuming you've all heard the obnoxious song "Let it go"? Well, I have. And to be honest, the only reason I sing it is because I want other people to let the song go. I made up this version. Sing it to the tune of "Let it Go".

Snow Glows white on the mountain tonight, So many footprints to be seen.
Kingdom of Desperation! And it looks Like, That is me.
The wind is howling like the singing choir inside,
Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried.

Don't let them in, don't let them sing! Be the quiet girl you always have to be!
Cover-ears, don't fear! Don't Let them hear! Well now they've heard!
Shut your face… Shut your Face! Can't hold it back anymore!
Shut your Face! Shut your face… Turn away and slam the door.

I do care! What there going to sing.
Don't let the song rage on…
'cause it always bothered me anyway.

The song is spiraling through the air and to the Ground!
Everywhere I look there are music notes, all around!
The song is like an evil loud sonic boom!
I'm never going back. 'Cause it'll be Back soon!

Shedding

It's Shedding season. That means that Ollie and Bishop are Loosing they're fur.

(Ollie) "Don't panic Ollie… it's just a little fur. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"
                                                         Vroom!
"BBBIIIIISSSHHHHOOOOP! HELP!!!! IM GOING TO BE NAKED! SAVE ME FROM MY WHISKERS!"
(Bishop) "Great. Your now afraid of your whiskers. And I know your not… but you do a terrible job of exclaiming what REALLY happens."
(Ollie) "NO! Sleariousmee! I am afraid of my Whiskers!"
(Bishop) "Seriously."
(Ollie) "Whats tever. It all began this morning. I was on my way to get Reagan's marker, than BAM! It hit me! I was sledding! I mean shedding!"
(Bishop) "Ollie, it hit me the day my mom told me what shedding WAS. I fail to see the problem."
(Ollie) "But you see, I had made an oalth, I mean oath, last year, that I would never shed again. AND I CAN'T DO THAT BECAUSE I REALIZED IT HAPPENS MATICAUTOLY! AND I LIED TO MY COUNTRY!"
(Bishop) "Automatically. And I still fail to see the big deal."
(Ollie) "Well, I failed to be a truthful cat. But that's not the whole doink! I thought I was holding a cat hair, but it wasn't a cat hair!"
(Bishop) "Point, not doink. And let me guess it was a dog hair. I fail to see the reason to your reaction. I failed three times at this point! What's the big whoop?"
(Ollie) "No, not a dog hair. Not a cat hair. Not a Horse hair. Not a human hair. Not a wild man-eating chimpanzee hair. IT WAS A WHISKER! THAT'S WHAT IT WAS!"
(Bishop) "So?"
(Ollie) "IM GOING BALD!"
(Bishop) "What the…I did not see that coming!"
(Ollie) "I know! I know! I licked for months… and months… and months… and months and months!
-for SOLUTELY NOTHING!"
                                                                           Cry's
(Bishop) "Absolutely. You mean Absolutely."
(Ollie) "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU DOG?! LIKE IM BALLING AND YOU HAVE ONLY CARES FOR MY VOVABVULARY!"
(Bishop) "Im SORRY IM SORRY! AND YOU MEAN VOCABULARY! IM TRYING TO ONLY HELP YOU WITH YOUR WORDS! AND I DONT CARE BECAUSE EVERY ANIMAL LOOSES HAIRS AND WHISKERS AND IT ALWAYS GROWS BACK! YOUR NOT GOING BALD!"
(Ollie) "Oh. Why didn't you just say so?"
                                                           pounce, bounce, pounce
(Bishop) "That cat is off his rocker."

Super Ollie!

(Ollie) "Da da da duh duh! do dee do da dooo! La dee do dum do! Bum dee do da…"
(Bishop) "Why are you singing star wars Oliver?"
(Ollie) "Because."
(Bishop) "Because why?"
(Ollie) "Because. Now scoot your boot and get a move on! There depending on me! You know not everybody can hang themselves."
(Bishop) "Who's depending on you to kill them? And why would I let you through to do something like that?"
(Ollie) "No, silly. Why would anyone wait on me to do that?"
(Bishop) "You said it boy, not me."
(Ollie) "There waiting on me To SAVE them."
(Bishop) "Ollie. You do realize hanging yourself is killing yourself. There trying to commit suicide."
(Ollie) "That is not true! You nasty nastiness! You are officially on my naughty list. "
(Bishop) "What naughty list? Your not Santa."
(Ollie) "BISHOP! WHY DON'T YOU EVER LISTEN TO ME! SOMEONE IS HANGING OF A 5 STORY BUILDING AND I NEED TO SAVE THEM! THEY ARE STILL IN THERE, HANGING THEMSELVES! THEY WILL FALL OFF IF I DON'T GET TO THEM SOON AND YOU ARE HOLDING UP THE SCOOO- DEL!"
(Bishop) "What's a scoo-del? Oh, you mean a schedule. You have terrible reading issues! Oh, well in that case, run along. Tell them I said hi."
(Ollie) "Okay. HERE I COME! DON'T WORRY! I'LL SAVE YOU!"
                                                        Bounce, pounce, bounce!
(Bishop) "Okay. Bye Ollie. Wait, what? I'M COMING WITH YOU! THIS IS A JOB FOR MAN'S BEST FREIND! Pant! pant! pant!"
(Ollie) "Here you go! I'll get you!"
(Bishop) "Ollie! You just propositioned a box."
(Ollie) "It's called IMAG- een- ing."
(Bishop) "All that fuss for this? And you mean imagining. Your reading skills are really the worst."

This is my new song

Two days ago, I wrote a song on garageband called Dreams. It was my best song of all the songs i wrote, so i decided to put it on my blog. Here it is! Click on "Heres my new song" It's the link.

Here's my song!

Why are stickers so fascinating?

I was in my dad's office, listening to some music. We were talking. A golden glint caught my eye. It was a golden crown sticker. My mind all of a sudden went blank, and all i could think about was:


How sticky is this sticker? What will happen if i put it on my hand? Will it come off? Will it hurt? If i touch it here, will it stick? Why does it Stick to everything accept that paper under it? Why is it called a sticker? Will it lose it's stickiness? Will it get dirty even though my hand is clean? Why do they use these to close envelopes? 

Well, the answers to those questions were easy, but that was all i could think about. "Reagan! Put that sticker down! It will loose it's stick! Couldn't help yourself, could you?" I quick slapped it down back on it's paper and stared at it. Dad's words went in one ear, and out the other. I still left it there, but i was also craving the feel of the sticker in my hand. Couldn't help myself, could i? No, I couldn't help myself. I mean, what's so special about little sticky things with printed stuff on them? I have no idea, but they are so fascinating. When little kids get a sticker even on really lame things like mazes, they seem so impressed with themselves. Even though the person looking doesn't really care. But I think they DO care. They don't talk much because all they can think about is how oddly awesome stickers are. And the little kids aren't proud of there good work, they are happy they have a new sticker to there collection. And i wanted a my little pony sticker book for my birthday for no darn reason! Why are stickers so fascinating!?   

Ollie and Bishop play "Beg" II

(Bishop) "MINE! wait. What are we even fighting about?"
(Ollie) "I SAY'D IT WAS MINE AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!"
(Bishop) "Oliver! What are we fighting about?"
(Ollie) "I have no idea."
(Bishop) "I know we were begging, but what does that even have to do with chanting 'Mine'?"
(Ollie) "I have no idea."
(Bishop) "Listen. I'll help you be the worlds best beggar, But what's in it for me?"
(Ollie) "Life."
(Bishop) "Okay then. I'll help you. Heh, he. Those claws of yours are really big! Heh, he."
(Ollie) "ALLRIGHT EVERYBODY! GIMME' 20! RIGHT NOW!"
(Bishop) "Yes, sir. Geez Lois."
(Ollie) "I WANT YOUR CUTEST FACE! BISHOP! WHAT 'R YA DOIN'? GET DOWN ON YOUR BELLY AND ROLL!"
(Bishop) "Ollie, Tell me you didn't beg for coffee."
(Ollie) "YEP! NOW GET DOWN THERE AND GIMME' 10! I WANT TEN OF YOUR CUTEST FACES! WHAT IS THAT FACE? IS IT A TRICK OR SOMETHING?"
(Bishop) "It's called the severe cramping face. Give me a break!"
(Ollie) "Ooh! You got food in your bowl, Pleeaaaaaasssssse?"
(Bishop) "That's very good ollie."
(Ollie) "I know. But seriously! Pleeeeeaaaaaasssse?"
(Bishop) "Oh. NO, ollie. Thats my own food. Besides, this begging habit of yours is getting out of control."
(Ollie) "Awww. Mmmmmmmm hmmmmm. You just hurt an innocent animals feelings."
(Bishop) "Allright ollie, snap out of it! I know your just trying to get my food, but this is a no can do. I'm not allowed to eat your food, and the same for you. So beat it, cat."
(Ollie) "What? So, your, this, it, it, it, It can't be true! Your telling me begging is the wrong thing to do?"
(Bishop) "Uh, duh. If this is what it takes to get you to listen to me, than i'm not gonna help you anymore. I'm sorry, but if i have to loose my temper to get you to understand me, Than it's just not right."
(Ollie) "I'm sorry too. I try to control myself, but it's hard sometimes. I see something that i really want and like, if it's food, I automatically get hungry. What! Is that a three, mr. chewy extra durable, Has flavor, Really easy to roll kong?!"
(Bishop) "Really, you gotta be kidding me. Oliver!"

Ollie and bishop play "Beg" I

I've noticed ollie and bishop are getting better and better at learning how to beg! I wonder what causes it.
(Ollie) "Pssst, fella, wanna buy a steak?"
(Bishop) "What now ollie? Everyday your into something weird and new."
(Ollie) "Black market steaks oddta' make a killing!"
(Bishop) "What the…"
(Ollie) "Shhh, my little kitten. Patience come to those who wait."
(Bishop) "OLIVER! what the heck are you talking about?"
(Ollie) "Be quiet young grass-hogger! I've learned a secret and i need you to be my assistant."
(Bishop) "Ignore what i said! I'm all yours!"
(Ollie) "Puppy's seem to be the best at begging. And even though it's a pet crime, I want to be the worlds best cat-bugaler! I've learned how to beg, But i'm not the best at it. I need you!"
(Bishop) "Allright ollie. That's not right to do! and anyway, where'd you get the steak?"
(Ollie) "I begged for it."
(Bishop) "And the black cape?"
(Ollie) "I begged for it."
(Bishop) "What about the black mask?"
(Ollie) "I begged for it."
(Bishop) "And the fake SUPERLARGE best-selling cat claws?"
(Ollie) "That doesn't matter. And any who, you know very well these are my first REAL claws. They are what make the ladies IRRESISTIBLE to me! See?"
(Bishop) "let me guess, you begged for those lady puppets you are carrying too?"
(Ollie) "How dare you mock my girlfriend! She's no puppet! See? "I'm a little lady, lala lala la." That was her voice by the way. Pretend you never saw my mouth move."
(Bishop) "That's not real ollie. Besides, Dogs are so much better than cats are at begging. see? I'm going to beg you to put that puppet down."
(Ollie) "IT'S ON!"
(Bishop Opens eyes as wide as possible and sits, stares, and tilts his head) "Pleeeeaaase! Pleeeeaaassse!"
(Ollie lys down, Rolls on his belly and flicks his tail back and fourth) "You can be my best friend! I love you! Pleeeaaaasse!"
(Bishop) "Your mine! Pleeeaaaassse?!"
(Ollie) "No, your mine! Pleeaaassse?!?
(Bishop) "Mine. Pleeeaaassse?!?"
(Ollie) "Mine! Please!"
(Bishop) "MINE!"
(Ollie) "NO MINE!"
to be continued.

THAT DARN DOG! Hershel got out again!

Hershel, the dog next-door keeps on getting out! Every morning i wake up to "THAT DARN DOG! Hershel got out again!". It is not pleasant waking up that way. I am tired of waking up that way.  We have to get him in the house, Than take him to his own house. Only Oliver's story is different.

"THAT DEVEL MONSTER OF A DOG WHO ATE TEN MILLION CAT'S! HE GOT OUT AGAIN!" (What oliver hears)

"He WHAT?! I must hide! The terrible monster has been released into the house! Before long, It will be ten-million-and-one cat's! OH, Bishop! Protect me! Don't let me be ten-million-and-one! I haven't even gotten to fulfill going to school!"

(Bishop) "You need my help getting you into school before you turn ten-million-and-one?"
(Ollie) "Yes! Soon I will be ten-million-and-one! Save me!"
(Bishop) "Who told you you were turning ten-million-and-one? Your only two."
(Ollie) "I know i am only two. The dog is EATING ten-million-and-one if you don't do something!"
(Bishop) "He's eating the number ten-million-and-one if i don't protect you? Why does protecting you from him going to stop him from eating ten-million-and-one? And how does he eat ten-million-and-one?"
(Ollie) "Duh."
(Bishop) "Ollie, your speaking nonsense."
(Ollie) "THE DOG WHO ATE TEN MILLION CATS IS GOING TO EAT ME IF YOU DON'T PROTECT ME AND IT'L BECOME TEN MILLION AND ONE DEATHS!"
(Bishop) "Oh. Why didn't you say so? And he never ate ten-million-and-one cats. You must of heard her wrong. But, I can still protect you if you want me to."
(Ollie) "I did say so ten-million-and-one times! Thank you though. And yes. Please protect me so I won't become fifty-million-and-five."

FREEDOM! AND MUD!

SOOOO very sorry I couldn't write on my blog for the past weeks. I've been really busy. Anywho, Oliver keeps getting out. Earlier Courtney came over. I LOVE designing music, And she brought her friend over. I showed them my stuff. Her friend, Rebekah, was listening to it, When I saw Oliver in the mud outside (We have no grass, we just moved and we have to wait to get sod) pouncing around and exploring. P.S. There are dogs everywhere. "OH MY GOSH! OLIVER!" I screamed, Bolting to the closest door. "What did I do?" asked Rebekah, Before I disappeared.
"He, he hee! Lucky me! Just look. Someone left the door open into the mysterious what I think is called "Poutfloors". Or is it "Nowslide". Who cares. A window of oppor-tuna-ty has got me curios. Da, da da da. Quiet oliver, you can do it, Now RUN! FREEDOM! AND MUD! What the speck? This is the most sticky mud I've ever stepped paw in. WOAH. LOOK AT THAT HILL OF MUD! RUN! yay! This is fun! Hey, wait just a luckond, Or din-nut, or flower, the downstairs of my home pops out of this thing! I can see Reagan!"

"OH MY GOSH! OLIVER!"

"Yes, yes, yes, I'm right here. And I can hear you perfectly fine. Only your voice is weird because of that spend-oh."
                                                                    SLAM!
"No need to spam doors, Reagan. You know cats can get there paws stuck in that because of your spamming."

"Oh, Thank goodness your okay."

"I'm fine. Oh don't pick me up and bring me inside. On speck-ond thought, I'm hot. Hello bishop. Look! I can spear you through this spend-oh!"

(Bishop) "Ollie, Your grammer is terrible."

(Ollie) "Stop correcting me on my Gramie-bur. I have purrfect stalking, I mean talking, you know."

Good morning. I am Oliver. While Reagan is still sleeping, I want to show you my morning stuff.

Alright. First, we need to go down stairs and scare the dog sooooo much he wakes up. To do todays scare, I will need his kong toy. Arrggg! Eeek! Muy teef ache doin' dis! How does dat dog do dis? Pluhhh! Discusting! Change of plans. Instead of using his kong, we will use a hard but light, no teeth ache object. Ooh! I know! Reagan's marker! Up the stairs I go! Weee! I love bolting! Okay. Be very quiet. We are now entering the atmosphere of Reagan's room. The scientific method is to be sssshhhhses quietis. One wrong move will cause an avalanche. We must get the marker. Which means we must get on the counter very quiet. Here is how I do it: First, you must lightly put your paw on the left hand corner on the table. Then your other paw. Than, Arch your neck three times and, JUMP!


                 KALABOINGA! CRASH! BANG! WHAM! SCREECH!"YOUCH! RUN!"


I got the marker. And I didn't even make a peep. Only my paw hurts. And I think She might of heard me. Now to run back down the stairs. "Na, Na, na, na, na." And down the other flight of stairs, where the dog sleeps. "La, La, la, la, la." Good. He's fast asleep. Ready, Aim, FIRE!

                                                                      CLUNK!
(Bishop) "YIKES! I'M UP! Ollie, that hurt. Why does every morning have to involve you hitting me with a marker? And why do you always hit  me right in the face? Why can't you misjudge the aim?"
(Ollie) "Well, Yesterday I threw a marker cap at you, and I hit you in the eye,"
(Bishop) "Seriously Oliver?"
(Ollie) "What?"
(Bishop) "You know what."
(Ollie) "Noper."

Best friends

Shelby is my best friend. She came on vacation with us. We had a night yesterday when we watched our vacation's video. We both love cows. And chickens. Cowardly chickens. And dogs... and cats... and horses...

Brush day.

Ollie got his hair brushed till it was silky smooth. He hates having his hair brushed.
*Fact of life: Okay fine. We ALL hate having our hair brushed. (Unless we're doing it ourselves).

(Ollie) "I am licking..................... Beautiful licking...... Oh, LICKING! Na, na, na, na!!! LIiiicccckkkkk! INnnnnng! FFFLLLLIIIICCCK!!! INnnnG! my tail.......! Oh, oh. I love bein' me... 'cause i'm a cAAAAAaaaat. na, na ,na.... SOOOn will be breakfast! And then a naaaap.... I feel like i'll flap, flap, flap! Away! In the air..."
(Bishop) "I didn't know you sing opera!"
(Ollie) "I don't. And you know very well that is not opera. I call it particularly high singing."
(Bishop) "Oh. But isn't that also opera?"
(Ollie) "No it is not."
(Bishop) "Ohhhhh, kay. But it's still opera. right?"
(Ollie) "NO! IT'S PARTICULARLY HIGH SINGING! JUST LET IT GO! BYE, BYE!" (Ollie pounces upstairs).
(Bishop yelling from downstairs) "Okay! Bye Ollie! When can you sing opera again?"
(Ollie) "Shut up yo mouth, dawg. Hello human. How are you? I am fine. What's for breakfast? I'm in the mood for salmon today."
(Mom) "Hello Oliver. Today is brush day."
(Ollie) "Hmm, I'm not sure if I've had brush flavored cat food before. Ohhh, I get it. RUN!"
(Mom) "Oh, no you don't Oliver. Here. Let me pick you up."
(Ollie) "Yes! I mean No! I mean oh, yes i did. And no. Don't pick me up. Don't put that brush even near me. I already licked it. It is perfectly groomed. I don't want you to mess it up."
(Mom) "Aww, cute. He's meowing."
(Ollie) "Cute?! CUTE?! Your practically yanking my fur out of it's hair sockets! It hurts!!! Owww! Meow!"
(Mom) "All done Ollie. Here you go..."
(Ollie) "Thank you! Now what's for breakfast? And it's going to take months for my hair to be licked into shape again. It's okay though. I like licking. "I am licking........... beautiful licking!"

Guilty dog.

A few weeks ago Bishop tore up his bed soooo much he now doesn't get one. Bad dog! Sooo, today he was strangely acting guilty. It reminded me of that time. He covered his face up with his paws!


                                                              A FEW WEEKS AGO

(Ollie) "Bye Reagan! See you later! where ever your going. Bye! Bye! I'll make sure I'll stalk the dog for you!"   SLAM! "Okay, good. She's gone. Now to fulfill my promise. And do my hobby. And lick. Na, na, na, Na, na, na, down the stairs I go!"
                                         SAME TIME I'M LEAVING (But with the dog)

(Bishop) "Bye Reagan! See you later! Why didn't I get to go to the barn with you? Bye! Bye! I'll stalk the cat for you!" SLAM! "Okay, good. She's gone. But I never said I forgave her! And I'm angry. And she will pay. I wanted to go to the barn! So, I will tare up my bed to show my un-pleasure."

(Ollie) "Oh, no you won't dog! I'll tell on you! You'll be the one to pay! I"m going upstairs now. I'm exhausted. I'm now tired of stalking."

(Bishop) "Yum! Yum! Yum! Oooh, I've found the core of my bed! The stuffing! The best part! I'm starting to feel guilty though. maybe I should stop. Buuuuuuuuuuut... I'll just keep eati-"
                                                       DING DONG!
There back!"

(Ollie) "Reagan! Reagan! Help! Help! The dog! The dog! you must see..."

(Me) "What is it ollie? Huh? Huh?"

(Ollie) "Oh, forget it. You always never let me finish."

(Mom) "Oh, BISHOP! What did you do to your bed! It's awful! ANDREW! GET IN HERE!"

(Bishop) "I'm sorry momma! Please forgive me! I didn't mean anything. IT WAS THE CAT!"

(Me) "C'mon Bish. We know it was you. Bad boy."

                                 sometimes cats are more loyal than dogs.

Hello, My name is Buddy. My best friend is Blue, and my favorite drink is beer. My favorite food is peppermint.

I have a horse named Buddy. I love him. He is black. At the barn, there is a horse named Blue and one named Phoenix. Buddy's best friend is Blue. Bishop and Buddy are funny together. Especially when we bring the horses in.

"MMMMMMM! Is that sweet feed I smell? It smells GOOD. Me! Me! Bring me in first!" Buddy says.
"No, Buddy. Not that stall. The other one. RRRRUFFF! Bark! Bark!" Bishop is saying.
"Hold on dog. I know which stall is mine. Move." (Buddy is a smart elic)
"YIKES!" Bishop seems like he knows best, but when the horses get near him, he runs away like a chicken.

HELLO! My name is Bishop. LICK!!!!!

My name is Buddy! Got treats?

I am buddy's friend Blue. I want attention too, you know.

Ha, ha on you! So I'm not the only one!

The other day while I was at Myla and Gigi's house, dad fell down seven steps. He counted. He also was wearing socks. And this is where I say, "I told you not to where socks! I even posted it on my blog! Listen to my advice! Well, ha ha on you. I told you." So I'm not the only one. You should've seen his bruise. It Looks nothing like a bruise. It looks like black paper taped onto his sides. It's disgusting.

To shelby.

I have a really good friend named shelby. She has a blog too. Her last post said "Valentines day". She asked what it was about. Here is what valentines day is about:

Some dude did something for love and got his head chopped off. He became a saint. Sometimes your boyfriend brings you candy. So on valentines day everyone passes out candy. Forgive me for saying this. I hate candy. And I don't hate valentines day, but I really dislike it. So there.

Spending the night!

Allright. To tell you how I spent the night. Apparently, I was spending the night so my mom and dad could have a nice, kid-free, anniversary. I don't blame you. We are a hand-full. Anywho, This is how my nights were. Spending the night is a lot of fun, except when it's time to sleep. You are not in your own, quiet bed. And all night long someone is snoring. Than you see a light all night long and it drives you crazy. But, The good things are you get to see your cousins. There are three stations usually when you spend the night. The first station is what your doing. The second station is what your pets are doing. The third station is what your parents are doing. They usually have the best results.

Me: "I am fed up with unpacking! I didn't realize I got this much stuff. "

Pets: (Bishop) "Oliver! Oliver! wanna play? huh? huh? do you? What about chase!" (Oliver) "NO! I Don't wanna play chase! I wanna lick!" (Simon) "You two always argue. MMMRROWW! HISSSS! BISHOP! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?!!!!! DON'T TOUCH ME!" (Bishop) "Let's play chase! I love chase!" (Oliver) "NO chase! I told you I don't like chase. YIKES! Why are you chasing me? I'm gonna tell Reagan on you!"

Mom & dad: (Dad) "This movie is great!" (mom) "Honey, were having steak for dinner." (Dad) "Sounds good!"

Me: (Me) "Soooo, Myla. What's aunt Kim fixing for dinner?" (Myla) "Buffalo chicken egg muffins!"
(Me) "Oookayyy, sounds weird, I mean good! Yes, that sounds disgusting, delightful!"
(Aunt Kim has a recipe book of CRAZY concoctions. But there actually delicious!)

Pets: (Oliver) "Please don't eat my food. And I mean it, dog!"

Mom & dad: (Mom) "Oh, look at the snow." (Dad) "Yes, It's beautiful."    

NO Valentines.

Yesterday was good and awful. I forgot valentines for All my friends. And I felt bad, Cause I'm gettin' valentines and I can't GIVE any. But, it was fun. Ooh, I forgot to tell you! I'm leaving to go spend the night with my cousins! Poor gigi (My cousin) . I made a valentine for myla and a present and I havent had time to make her one. Here is a special message to Gigi: "You are a great cousin and I love you just as much as anybody I love more than chocolate (I love chocolate ALOT). I won't be able to write for the next three days. Oliver always misses me. But I wonder what he does when I'm gone.

"Ooh, good. She's gone." (He pulls out a secret list) "Now I can jump on the counter and use her closet as a litter box! Also, I think i'll drink her water."

The art of meeping

Macy has this thing. She likes to go up to people and chant the words "Meep". It is like a sacred secret language her and her friend share. Earlier this morning, she was teaching me how to speak it. I will teach you all i know. The first thing she showed me was names in meep language. "I am meepo, you are meeplee, And your friend is meeper." She explained. I didn't understand a word she said, but just nodded. Than she sang "What does the fox say" in meep language. It is "Meep, meep, meep, meep meep" I wanted to say "I think that is terrible" I tried to think of a word for "Think" and I came up with Dink. "Meeplee dink 'ku meep meep" I said. Macy cracked up. I don't know why. "ha, ha!" She said. "Dink means poop!" I stared at her. Did I mention that I do not like potty humor? I wanted a different name than Meeplee. I just scoured my brain for an odd name. "What about Meepfolia?" I asked. "Thats tree-stump." she said. "Meepoleia" I said. "No, silly. Thats not even a word in the meet language." she said. "How do you say 'I think that is terrible' ?" "Meeply meep meep meep meep." Apparently, Any word you want to say is just meep. This is what I learned:
*Don't make up a meep word. Just say meep and you won't end up saying anything weird.
*Don't say dink.
*If you are not Macy, than your name is meeply and there's NOTHING you can do about it.
*Meep, meep, meep, meep. (Translation: I need to learn more.)
*Meepeoygk (I had NO idea what I just said. Hopefully it was something good.)

"Reagan, Get your things ready 'cause we're going to the V-E-T. Don't tell ollie."

The vet. The worst words a cat could hear. Today we went there. Ollie was FREAKING out. He was screaming in the car. And when he got his shots, he was probably cussing. This is what he probably was saying:
"Don't push me in that carrier. Oh, DON'T PUSH ME IN THAT CARRIER I SAID! Don't zip me up! Yikes! Why am I being lifted to the car?! STEPS! Oh, STEPS! Please don't put me in the car, oh please don't. What did I ever do to you? I Like this house. I Think I'll stay here. Oh no, not the gas and the steering wheal combination! Run! Why am I yelling run, I am in a closed in carrier. I can't run. Silly me. I'm safe here. Don't panic, Oliver. WHO am I kidding?! I'm Gonna DIE! DIE I said! I will DIE in here! Oh, I recognize this place. Its the vet. No worries, I've been here before. Wait, did I just say the vet?! VETTTT! VETTT! VETTTTTT! VETTTTT! There are dogs in here. Please don't make me go. Oh please. Why are they checking my wait? Are they trying to make me feel bad about myself after I went on my diet? Well, What is that round thing in your hand human? What do you think you are DOING? IT'S A PILL!  Gulp. You just shoved that thing down my mouth you do realize. And it did
NOT taste delightful. Is that pointy thingie for me? Why are you aiming that cat-killer sharp dinglehopper at me? YOOOUCH! That hurt! EEEK! My paws are killing me! Your making me cry. I Think all be going now. WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU PICKING ME UP?!!! WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU SHOVING ME INTO THIS CARRIER! PUT ME DOWN BEFORE I PUMP YOUR GUTS FULL OF TREATS!"
Oliver lost it.

Pizza, Pizza everywhere. Pizza Pizza in my hair! (No seriously. I have AWFUL table manners)

I am terrible at table manners. Mom says she always knows where I eat. I leave crumbs EVERYWHERE. I don't even chew with my mouth closed. Sometimes mom or dad will notice food in my hair or eyebrows. Now THATS embarrassing. Everyday I sit down to eat Macy or mommy point out the fact that I'm not chewing with my mouth closed. Apparently Helen Keller could not eat with table manners because she couldn't see or hear. I feel bad for her. Anywho, the worst thing is when mom calls me Hellen Keller. I am bad at table manners and that is just a fact.

Yay! School!

Today I'm in a much better mood than yesterday. And school was great. Plus tonight, all of moms side of the family are coming over to celebrate her and her sisters birthday. Family reunion! Only what do you know? I left my coat at school. But yay! It was last school day so I get to finally be warm! Here is ollie's response: "Great! Your back! I missed you! Because you coming back means what you humans call "Dinner". And "Dinner" means food! So when will you feed me? Plus also, I will lick. And sleep."

I don't know to call this post.

I am soooo sorry I couldn't write on my blog yesterday. It was my mom's birthday. Happy Birthday momma! We were gone the entire day... even though school was called out early. So, Ive started an acting class. It is fun. I've done acting before, But I wasn't able to show up at the actual play, because i had constipation so bad I had to go to the hospital. That was probably the most embarrassing thing I've ever gone through. Poor me. But this time it was actually fun! More acting and less going over the script. So that was today! Goodbye. (not very exiting or funny post. was it. I know, right?)

Homeschool!

Right now I am watching Macy being quizzed on her addition. Good job Macy. Keep on being such an addition hero.
Now for science.
Does anyone know which two members of order Insectivora are poisonous?
Okey-dokey. Here is how to make a Styrofoam dove:
you will need one small styrofoam ball, and a larger one. You will also need a toothpick, a permanent marker, a small piece of white craft foam, scissors and craft glue.

1. Slide the large styrofoam ball onto the end of the toothpick, than slide the smaller one on top of it so it looks like a snowman.
2. Cut the craft foam piece into to small wings and glue it on the sides of the largest foam ball.
3. Color eyes and a beak on the smaller ball. Turn it sideways. Ta-da!

I Hate Snow. (And sometimes i love it). Part II

But there are some good things, in part two,
Oh snow, good old you.
we sit by the fire, drinking hot choc-o-lat-e,
While our mom and our dad drink a hot'o latte.
We are all exited, sleding and all,
And we come in chanting, "I can'th feel my lipths ma'"
Sleeping all snuggly,
In our warm beds,
While visions of snow-days dance in our heads.
Let me make it simple,
The end will show,
Oh how I love snow.

I Hate Snow. (And sometimes I love it)

What happened to spring?
Was it all a dream?
Is summer nearby?
Winter, Summer is coming soon so bye-bye.
Ha, ha on you.
No more snow on my boots.
But wait just a second,
How could it be?
5 inches of snow,
And we're close to spring?
Yesterday was beautiful,
And delightful,
And today you ruin it quite mightyful.
Here is one thing, I go out to play,
Staring at the sun,
And it's rays,
I run outside, in my shorts,
And I come inside,
Freezing in ways of all sorts.
I'll make it simple,
Your 30 degrees below,
And some information to you,
I hate snow.

Golden gooses lay golden eggs. I lay bruise-colored eggs. And I have a bunch of them, too.

Steps. I hate steps. And sometimes dishwashers. (Sometimes I love them. I only hate them when I get goose-eggs). When you get a bump because you fell on something hard, It's called A goose-egg. I am not fond of them. Goose-eggs hurt. Oh, and let me tell you about the steps incident. If you want to know what a goose-egg is, follow along. You will get a goose-egg guaranteed.

1. I was wearing socks while rushing up the steps. BAD. very BAD, BAD, BAD Idea.
2. I was holding Oliver while in this process. I could not see what I was doing. (If you do not have an Oliver, Use a fluffy Oat box That is filled with rocks instead of Oats and has arms and legs. You can Find one at a grocery store. Only It's not usual you will see a fluffy oat box)
3. I was starting to wear down a little at the half-way process.
4. I slipped in my socks and smacked against the steps on my shins. (I got a goose-egg)
5. The next day I did the exact same thing. Only I was carrying chips. I hit the same spot where my goose-egg from day 1 was. (I screamed by the way).
6. A week went by. This time I was  actually being careful not to fall, believe it or not. And I wasn't holding anything. Or wearing socks. And I was going slow. I slipped. I hit the same spot. Owww. (I had a triple goose-egg Only I toughed it out).
7. This was the night Courtney came over. I did step 6 again. Only I ran into the other room to cry.
8. Today I was doing the dishes and the corner of the dishwasher hit me.
If you don't have a goose-egg by now, you need to see a doctor. Case-closed.  

Too late

Oh, my. Today I was happily chanting an old song, when I realized something. "Oh, no! I was too late. I forgot too Write on my blog." I'm very sorry. Please ignore the fact that it actually happened. Right before diner tonight, Momma left to go to the barn. I DIDN'T know she was leaving. I DIDN'T realize she was getting bundled up. I DIDN'T hear the four wheeler start. And I DID want to go. And boom! Just like that, dad told me, "Would you like to watch the super bowl while your moms gone?" "No! Oh No! She's going to the barn. Move!" I yelled to my-self. With a mouth stuffed with a snack of delightful salmon, I bolted to the door. "Wait!" I yelled, salmon spraying everywhere. I realized she was already gone. "I was too late" I said, very disappointed. And on my way up here, realizing I needed to write on my blog, While I was sprinting up the steps, Apparently Oliver wanted to come too. And Boom. I was too late once again. I wasn't sprinting fast enough, And he ran right into me. I didn't reach the steps in time. I am like mom. I am late. Hang in there momma, next time I won't be mad at you for being late. And one more thing, I thing Oliver thought he was dreaming When Salmon sprayed everywhere.

Meet my scardy dog, Bishop.

I have a dog named Bishop. He is NOT man's best friend. He is scared of me. He is scared of Macy (I can see why) . And Also, he loves Ollie, and steals ollie from me. Only the good part is ollie doesn't love him. In your face, Dog! He is fun to play with, when he does't run. He loves his kong. I throw it to him, and he brings it back. He knows sit, and stay, and lay down. Only he doesn't always listen to me, sometimes he just runs. He is only one year old, and he is a german shepherd. He is not fierce. And that's how I like him. He doesn't jump on people either. I love Bishop, but he is NOT man's best friend.

Now meet simon, my other cat.

Simon is my other cat. He is not like Oliver. He is mean. He is old. He has arthritis. He throws up everywhere. He hates me. Here is what he is like: "Don't you dare touch me. If you touch me, your dead. I said don't touch me! Rarrrrrrr, meowwww! Hissssss! Scratch! I don't feel good. I am mad. I will poop in the closet, thanks to you. I still don't feel good. Let me go barf." That is simon. He is mean. I would have a picture for you, but he wont let me.

Introducing Ollie, my cat

Oliver, my cat is sorta my bud. He understands me, Makes jokes (Like "Why are you staring at me? All i'm doing is licking. Here is my plan for today: Thing number one, Breakfast. are you going to feed me anytime soon? why are you still starring at me? Thing number two: Beg for more breakfast. And number three is to nap. And ha! In your face. Number four is to lick! And that is what I will do. Why are you still staring at me? Does the cat got your tongue? Well here is some information to Y-O-U, I do not get tongues. And that was rather offensive. Never-mind. I will just go and lick somewhere else. Wait just a second, your eyes are practically closed. You are asleep! You are not awake now! Yu have slept in till 7! I wake up at 4! Now get up and feed me! Meowwww! Meowww! Meowwww! get up!) Yep, that is Oliver.

Here's a picture of him in a suitcase (he love to hang out in suitcases)!

Dicection day! (I still don't know how to spell that)

Today was dicection day. It was disgusting. We dicected the mouse, Cut off it's head, Pulled out it's guts, e.c.t. Anywho, I wasn't actually participating. "If you get grossed out, Go to the hall" said my teacher, Mrs. Hook. I pretty much camped out in the hall until class was over. Next period, we're dicecting a frog. I'm Going to go camping in the hall. Only this time i'm bringing perfume (for the AWFUL smell) And a joke-book (to get my mind off it). Apparently my sister gagged the whole time. I still don't understand why she didn't go camping in the hall too. And I say,
"Really?!"

Craft fun:

Today I will show you how to make a paper flower. What you will need:
Tissue paper
A green pipe cleaner

First, Crumble up your tissue paper and then unwrap it.
Second, Twist your pipe cleaner on the end so it looks like a stem.
Ta da!

the noodle of power

A few months ago, Macy was eating her favorite food, Ramen noodles. She lifted a noodle above her had and chanted "The noodle of power". I stared at her. Than i burst out laughing. Who in the world would come up with something called the noodle of power? I pictured a noodle wearing a super hero cape. They both were flapping and wiggling in the air. It was very flappy. Also, it was wearing goggles. Today Macy and I were playing a game called "Name that face". Macy Did an odd face. She looked like cinderella dancing with her prince. I said,"Cinderella?" She said "No. The noodle of power." I laughed again.

Today I had school.

Today I had school. It wasn't the best school day ever... I had brought an oatmeal cookie for my friend Taylor, and he wash't even there. Also, I felt bad in spanish cause our class didn't do so well. My friend Landon's dad is very sick and is in the hospital. Please pray. And also, to Courtney, Thank you for the nice note you wrote on the board. "Reagan- thank you for being such a great friend to me before the move -Courtney" That was very sweet! Oh, and I almost forgot. Thursday we're Dicecting (however you spell that) a mouse! Yay! (not.)

Salad recipe

Last night when Courtney came over, she commented my mom on her salad. That was very nice. So, I decided to give you my moms salad recipe. Here it is:

1 cup of chopped cherry tomatoes
bacon (cooked, crispy and chopped into bits)
2 hardboiled eggs, chopped
5 cups of lettuce (or reasonable amount)
vinaigrette dressing
ranch dressing

1. First, mix in all of your ingredients into a large bowl, except the dressings.
2. Second, lightly drizzle a small amount of ranch on the salad. than drizzle a large amount of vinaigrette on it.
3. last but not least, toss the salad until it is all evenly covered with everything.

Bomb-bug catastrophy

Apparently last winter wasn't cold enough to kill off all the stinkbugs. So now were stuck with so many. I'm not exaggerating, I see at least ten every day. The worst part is there like little stink bombs. If you smush one, The let out an awful smell. I'm going to start calling them bomb bugs. Luckily, this winter is freezing cold. Die you bomb bugs!

Today my friends came over.

Today Courtney, my friend came over. We had fun. Ever tried to clean up a giant mess that you made yourself? Well, it's not easy. Try it. It's not like you can ask for help, 'cause it's your mess. So never mind the whole "Try it" part if your NOT in the mood to clean. I'm not happy. I am angry. :/ (Grrr)

I am Reagan. I am ten.

Please pretend what just happened never happened. I finally came up with a punchline!
'sup. This is Reagan hangin' in the hooouusse! The age is ten, Come on in.
(Ha, ha, ha) Now thats a punchline! Thats unbeatable! Magical! Powerful! (lol)

Welcome to my blog!

This is my first post. Quick Question... And how exactly do I make "Hello, My name is Reagan. I am ten" not sound lame or babyish?  Well, I could say, "Dear folks of Kentucky, My name is Reagan. I am at the age of ten." Or  "Hi. I am Reagan. I am ten." Never mind me right now. First I need to come up with a punchline.