THAT DARN DOG! Hershel got out again!

Hershel, the dog next-door keeps on getting out! Every morning i wake up to "THAT DARN DOG! Hershel got out again!". It is not pleasant waking up that way. I am tired of waking up that way.  We have to get him in the house, Than take him to his own house. Only Oliver's story is different.

"THAT DEVEL MONSTER OF A DOG WHO ATE TEN MILLION CAT'S! HE GOT OUT AGAIN!" (What oliver hears)

"He WHAT?! I must hide! The terrible monster has been released into the house! Before long, It will be ten-million-and-one cat's! OH, Bishop! Protect me! Don't let me be ten-million-and-one! I haven't even gotten to fulfill going to school!"

(Bishop) "You need my help getting you into school before you turn ten-million-and-one?"
(Ollie) "Yes! Soon I will be ten-million-and-one! Save me!"
(Bishop) "Who told you you were turning ten-million-and-one? Your only two."
(Ollie) "I know i am only two. The dog is EATING ten-million-and-one if you don't do something!"
(Bishop) "He's eating the number ten-million-and-one if i don't protect you? Why does protecting you from him going to stop him from eating ten-million-and-one? And how does he eat ten-million-and-one?"
(Ollie) "Duh."
(Bishop) "Ollie, your speaking nonsense."
(Ollie) "THE DOG WHO ATE TEN MILLION CATS IS GOING TO EAT ME IF YOU DON'T PROTECT ME AND IT'L BECOME TEN MILLION AND ONE DEATHS!"
(Bishop) "Oh. Why didn't you say so? And he never ate ten-million-and-one cats. You must of heard her wrong. But, I can still protect you if you want me to."
(Ollie) "I did say so ten-million-and-one times! Thank you though. And yes. Please protect me so I won't become fifty-million-and-five."

FREEDOM! AND MUD!

SOOOO very sorry I couldn't write on my blog for the past weeks. I've been really busy. Anywho, Oliver keeps getting out. Earlier Courtney came over. I LOVE designing music, And she brought her friend over. I showed them my stuff. Her friend, Rebekah, was listening to it, When I saw Oliver in the mud outside (We have no grass, we just moved and we have to wait to get sod) pouncing around and exploring. P.S. There are dogs everywhere. "OH MY GOSH! OLIVER!" I screamed, Bolting to the closest door. "What did I do?" asked Rebekah, Before I disappeared.
"He, he hee! Lucky me! Just look. Someone left the door open into the mysterious what I think is called "Poutfloors". Or is it "Nowslide". Who cares. A window of oppor-tuna-ty has got me curios. Da, da da da. Quiet oliver, you can do it, Now RUN! FREEDOM! AND MUD! What the speck? This is the most sticky mud I've ever stepped paw in. WOAH. LOOK AT THAT HILL OF MUD! RUN! yay! This is fun! Hey, wait just a luckond, Or din-nut, or flower, the downstairs of my home pops out of this thing! I can see Reagan!"

"OH MY GOSH! OLIVER!"

"Yes, yes, yes, I'm right here. And I can hear you perfectly fine. Only your voice is weird because of that spend-oh."
                                                                    SLAM!
"No need to spam doors, Reagan. You know cats can get there paws stuck in that because of your spamming."

"Oh, Thank goodness your okay."

"I'm fine. Oh don't pick me up and bring me inside. On speck-ond thought, I'm hot. Hello bishop. Look! I can spear you through this spend-oh!"

(Bishop) "Ollie, Your grammer is terrible."

(Ollie) "Stop correcting me on my Gramie-bur. I have purrfect stalking, I mean talking, you know."

Good morning. I am Oliver. While Reagan is still sleeping, I want to show you my morning stuff.

Alright. First, we need to go down stairs and scare the dog sooooo much he wakes up. To do todays scare, I will need his kong toy. Arrggg! Eeek! Muy teef ache doin' dis! How does dat dog do dis? Pluhhh! Discusting! Change of plans. Instead of using his kong, we will use a hard but light, no teeth ache object. Ooh! I know! Reagan's marker! Up the stairs I go! Weee! I love bolting! Okay. Be very quiet. We are now entering the atmosphere of Reagan's room. The scientific method is to be sssshhhhses quietis. One wrong move will cause an avalanche. We must get the marker. Which means we must get on the counter very quiet. Here is how I do it: First, you must lightly put your paw on the left hand corner on the table. Then your other paw. Than, Arch your neck three times and, JUMP!


                 KALABOINGA! CRASH! BANG! WHAM! SCREECH!"YOUCH! RUN!"


I got the marker. And I didn't even make a peep. Only my paw hurts. And I think She might of heard me. Now to run back down the stairs. "Na, Na, na, na, na." And down the other flight of stairs, where the dog sleeps. "La, La, la, la, la." Good. He's fast asleep. Ready, Aim, FIRE!

                                                                      CLUNK!
(Bishop) "YIKES! I'M UP! Ollie, that hurt. Why does every morning have to involve you hitting me with a marker? And why do you always hit  me right in the face? Why can't you misjudge the aim?"
(Ollie) "Well, Yesterday I threw a marker cap at you, and I hit you in the eye,"
(Bishop) "Seriously Oliver?"
(Ollie) "What?"
(Bishop) "You know what."
(Ollie) "Noper."

Best friends

Shelby is my best friend. She came on vacation with us. We had a night yesterday when we watched our vacation's video. We both love cows. And chickens. Cowardly chickens. And dogs... and cats... and horses...

Brush day.

Ollie got his hair brushed till it was silky smooth. He hates having his hair brushed.
*Fact of life: Okay fine. We ALL hate having our hair brushed. (Unless we're doing it ourselves).

(Ollie) "I am licking..................... Beautiful licking...... Oh, LICKING! Na, na, na, na!!! LIiiicccckkkkk! INnnnnng! FFFLLLLIIIICCCK!!! INnnnG! my tail.......! Oh, oh. I love bein' me... 'cause i'm a cAAAAAaaaat. na, na ,na.... SOOOn will be breakfast! And then a naaaap.... I feel like i'll flap, flap, flap! Away! In the air..."
(Bishop) "I didn't know you sing opera!"
(Ollie) "I don't. And you know very well that is not opera. I call it particularly high singing."
(Bishop) "Oh. But isn't that also opera?"
(Ollie) "No it is not."
(Bishop) "Ohhhhh, kay. But it's still opera. right?"
(Ollie) "NO! IT'S PARTICULARLY HIGH SINGING! JUST LET IT GO! BYE, BYE!" (Ollie pounces upstairs).
(Bishop yelling from downstairs) "Okay! Bye Ollie! When can you sing opera again?"
(Ollie) "Shut up yo mouth, dawg. Hello human. How are you? I am fine. What's for breakfast? I'm in the mood for salmon today."
(Mom) "Hello Oliver. Today is brush day."
(Ollie) "Hmm, I'm not sure if I've had brush flavored cat food before. Ohhh, I get it. RUN!"
(Mom) "Oh, no you don't Oliver. Here. Let me pick you up."
(Ollie) "Yes! I mean No! I mean oh, yes i did. And no. Don't pick me up. Don't put that brush even near me. I already licked it. It is perfectly groomed. I don't want you to mess it up."
(Mom) "Aww, cute. He's meowing."
(Ollie) "Cute?! CUTE?! Your practically yanking my fur out of it's hair sockets! It hurts!!! Owww! Meow!"
(Mom) "All done Ollie. Here you go..."
(Ollie) "Thank you! Now what's for breakfast? And it's going to take months for my hair to be licked into shape again. It's okay though. I like licking. "I am licking........... beautiful licking!"