(Please read the first part of this post, comes before)
Oh, and that's not all. I've done a lot of "In my own world" things in my life, not just switching the wrong switch on the blender while trying to concoct raspberry goodness.
Like for instance, try and picture this.
I want a drink. The kitchen sink is about two steps ahead of me. I turn around to where my BACK is facing the sink, then walk all the way around the island to get to the sink. Thats right… Instead of just taking two steps, I had to take fifteen. And that's not all! To get back to where I was originally standing, I walk back around to where I was. Then, of course, I realized what I did.
Here are three more mistakes I (possibly, maybe, not really, high chance, could have) made:
1.) I went to church practically in a see-through shirt that was backwards and inside out. (I wonder how that happened)
2.) My reading of the map upside down. Oh yes, it doesn't just happen in the movies!
3.) And last but not least, this happened:
Mom: "Time to take the dog out!" Ok. Out the mudroom door, with everything I need: Shoes, socks, leash, raincoat (it was raining) and of course: wait a minute! Where's the dog? Oh, yes, people. I remember everything BUT the dog. Here I am, walking down the sidewalk, with just the leash… so when I look back at the house, I see the dog standing on his hind-legs, staring at me from outside of the window, and watching me be an idiot. Between you and me, I'm just forgetful. But in case anyone else asks: The leash told me to forget the dog because it wanted quality time. That's half right: I did "Forget the dog," so I guess it's not exactly a lie.
If the average person has an iQ of 100, I'm pretty sure I'm somewhere between 55 and 60. But to be sure, how do I know? The dog surely wouldn't. The dog I forgot, that is.
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
The Leash Needed Quality Time, Forget the Dog!
Ok. From reading my blog, you may have learned a few things: like how to respond when someone offers you oysters, how to mock let it go, and maybe scatter splotches of smoothie all over the kitchen and your dear, sweet, mother. Those are all funny things several people may have done. But, now that you know some things about me, lets get more serious with my problems.
First, lets start with the basics.
1.) How many people do you know chew gum in the shower?
2.) How many people do you know type on the computer with their pointer finger on their left hand and middle on their right?
3.) How many people do you know grab the soap from their sock drawer (that makes the socks smell good) and use it as their go-to hand soap?
4.) How many people look like this on deranged cameras?
First, lets start with the basics.
1.) How many people do you know chew gum in the shower?
2.) How many people do you know type on the computer with their pointer finger on their left hand and middle on their right?
3.) How many people do you know grab the soap from their sock drawer (that makes the socks smell good) and use it as their go-to hand soap?
4.) How many people look like this on deranged cameras?
Let's see here… ME.
(Please turn to the next post to read the rest.)
Monday, March 23, 2015
Sleeping Cutie 4
On the way, Gracelemen questioned the fairy, madam annoyingness, about what was going on. The fairy refused to talk until they landed at a house near Ollivercatolot and King Bishop III. "Well, Hugolofent, is after you. He wants to end you forever so he will be the king of cuteness." She said. "I don't know why though, cause your really not that cute." "NOW I know why your name is your name. You ARE annoying!" Gracelemen murmured under her breath.
Hugolofent was closer than ever on his eternal rule. His evil plan was like smoke to king Bishop III, he could smell it no matter how far off it seemed. Olivercatolot, like usual, failed to see any suspicion, accept that his tuna sandwich was missing. In case your curious, Bishop III saw that it disappeared too, right into Olivercatolot's stomach. While the three set off on the journey, Hugolofent made a sleeping potion.
(Ollie) "Well, well, well, dog!!! Your wrong! I can pack less than 3 million suitcases!"
(Bishop) "Well, i'm pretty close. You have ten. And all you needed was one suitcase!"
(Hugo) "Boys, boys. Its time we leave. Remember this: It will be worth it!"
(Bishop, murmuring quietly) "For you, maybe."
15 minutes later
(Ollie) "Can't… take… another… step!" *breaths heavily*
(Bishop) "We've been walking for 15 minutes! Where's Hugo, anyway?"
(Hugo) "Over here, behind this tree! Bathroom break!"
(Bishop) "I repeat, we've only been walking for 15 minutes!"
*sizzle*
(Bishop) "What was that?"
(Hugo) "My potion! I mean, er, my lotion! There was a fire next to me, a small one, and I needed something to put it out with!"
(Bishop) "Why didn't you use the water you brought?"
(Hugo) "Oh… right."
(Bishop) "Yeah, right. Cat, I have my eye on you!"
(Hugo) "Why? Did i do something wron-
(Ollie) "And IIII have my eye on you!"
(Bishop) "I was talking to Hugo."
Hugolofent was closer than ever on his eternal rule. His evil plan was like smoke to king Bishop III, he could smell it no matter how far off it seemed. Olivercatolot, like usual, failed to see any suspicion, accept that his tuna sandwich was missing. In case your curious, Bishop III saw that it disappeared too, right into Olivercatolot's stomach. While the three set off on the journey, Hugolofent made a sleeping potion.
(Ollie) "Well, well, well, dog!!! Your wrong! I can pack less than 3 million suitcases!"
(Bishop) "Well, i'm pretty close. You have ten. And all you needed was one suitcase!"
(Hugo) "Boys, boys. Its time we leave. Remember this: It will be worth it!"
(Bishop, murmuring quietly) "For you, maybe."
15 minutes later
(Ollie) "Can't… take… another… step!" *breaths heavily*
(Bishop) "We've been walking for 15 minutes! Where's Hugo, anyway?"
(Hugo) "Over here, behind this tree! Bathroom break!"
(Bishop) "I repeat, we've only been walking for 15 minutes!"
*sizzle*
(Bishop) "What was that?"
(Hugo) "My potion! I mean, er, my lotion! There was a fire next to me, a small one, and I needed something to put it out with!"
(Bishop) "Why didn't you use the water you brought?"
(Hugo) "Oh… right."
(Bishop) "Yeah, right. Cat, I have my eye on you!"
(Hugo) "Why? Did i do something wron-
(Ollie) "And IIII have my eye on you!"
(Bishop) "I was talking to Hugo."
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Ollie takes up reading
Ollie, I think, has recently decided that if he gets an education, Bishop will like him more.
(Bishop) *Stares at Ollie surrounded by books and boxes*
"WHAT
THE
HECK."
(Ollie) "Heeee-yo daaaa-wg. Au-I haaaaa-ve deee-ci-deeeed to beeee-come a lifaryton."
(Bishop) "You know, you've used a lot of grammar and words I understood. But I have no idea what the heck you just said."
(Ollie) "Hello, dog. I have decided to become a lifaryton."
(Bishop) "With all these books, I suppose you mean librarian?"
(Ollie) "Yeeees, but IIIII aaaam tryyyyyy-ing to speeeek a freeeench acceeeent."
(Bishop) "That's the worst french accent I've ever heard in my life. Sounds like you just had mouth surgery, Ollie."
(Ollie) "Thaaaaank youuuuuuu. IIIIIII waaaaaant refuge-a-son. Ooor eeeees thaaat edu-a-plun."
(Bishop) "I have no words. Except the fact that you mean education. Other than that, I'm speechless."
(Ollie) "Thaaaaank youuuuuu. Nooooowwww, iiiiiif yooooou excuuuuuse meeeee, I neeeeed to wake beeeeshoooop up wiiiiith a maaaarrrrrkeeeer. Oooooh, waaaaiiiit. Youuuu aaaare Beeee-shoooop."
(Bishop) "Lord, take me now."
(Ollie) "Where?!! I want to come! Lord! Take me now, too! I want to frolick! I want to fro-lick! I want to live happily! LET ME GO BISHOP! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?"
(Bishop) "Lots of things. And thank you for stopping the horrible accent."
(Ollie) "Oh, right. WAAAAAT DIIIIIID I EVEEEEER DOOOO TOOOO YOOOOOUUUU?!!"
(Bishop) "Ollie, did you beg for Reagan's coffee? And her books?"
(Ollie) "YEEEEESSS, I MEAAAAN NOOOOOO, I MEAAAN NOOOONE OF YOOOOUUUUR BEEEESWAAAAAX!"
(Bishop) "Oh, great. Please clean this up, Ollie."
(Ollie) "BUUUUUUT IIIII THOOOOUUUUUGHT YOUUUU WOOOOUUULD LIIIIIKEEE MEEEEE MOORE IF IIIII HAAAAD EDUCATIIIOOOOOOON."
(Bishop) "Ollie, I like you for you."
(Ollie) "Phew. I was hoping you'd say that. If you didn't stop me, then I'd have to make up some back-up story for what would happen when you would have seen the french statue I bought with your credit card. Now I can sell it for money and not have to worry about you seeing it."
(Bishop) "OLLLLIEEEEE!!!!!!!?????????"
(Ollie) "Ooh! I knew it! I knew you liked my french accent!"
(Bishop) *Stares at Ollie surrounded by books and boxes*
"WHAT
THE
HECK."
(Ollie) "Heeee-yo daaaa-wg. Au-I haaaaa-ve deee-ci-deeeed to beeee-come a lifaryton."
(Bishop) "You know, you've used a lot of grammar and words I understood. But I have no idea what the heck you just said."
(Ollie) "Hello, dog. I have decided to become a lifaryton."
(Bishop) "With all these books, I suppose you mean librarian?"
(Ollie) "Yeeees, but IIIII aaaam tryyyyyy-ing to speeeek a freeeench acceeeent."
(Bishop) "That's the worst french accent I've ever heard in my life. Sounds like you just had mouth surgery, Ollie."
(Ollie) "Thaaaaank youuuuuuu. IIIIIII waaaaaant refuge-a-son. Ooor eeeees thaaat edu-a-plun."
(Bishop) "I have no words. Except the fact that you mean education. Other than that, I'm speechless."
(Ollie) "Thaaaaank youuuuuu. Nooooowwww, iiiiiif yooooou excuuuuuse meeeee, I neeeeed to wake beeeeshoooop up wiiiiith a maaaarrrrrkeeeer. Oooooh, waaaaiiiit. Youuuu aaaare Beeee-shoooop."
(Bishop) "Lord, take me now."
(Ollie) "Where?!! I want to come! Lord! Take me now, too! I want to frolick! I want to fro-lick! I want to live happily! LET ME GO BISHOP! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?"
(Bishop) "Lots of things. And thank you for stopping the horrible accent."
(Ollie) "Oh, right. WAAAAAT DIIIIIID I EVEEEEER DOOOO TOOOO YOOOOOUUUU?!!"
(Bishop) "Ollie, did you beg for Reagan's coffee? And her books?"
(Ollie) "YEEEEESSS, I MEAAAAN NOOOOOO, I MEAAAN NOOOONE OF YOOOOUUUUR BEEEESWAAAAAX!"
(Bishop) "Oh, great. Please clean this up, Ollie."
(Ollie) "BUUUUUUT IIIII THOOOOUUUUUGHT YOUUUU WOOOOUUULD LIIIIIKEEE MEEEEE MOORE IF IIIII HAAAAD EDUCATIIIOOOOOOON."
(Bishop) "Ollie, I like you for you."
(Ollie) "Phew. I was hoping you'd say that. If you didn't stop me, then I'd have to make up some back-up story for what would happen when you would have seen the french statue I bought with your credit card. Now I can sell it for money and not have to worry about you seeing it."
(Bishop) "OLLLLIEEEEE!!!!!!!?????????"
(Ollie) "Ooh! I knew it! I knew you liked my french accent!"
Oysters
The worst sea-food EVER. Coming from someone that ate calamari, a name for fried squid!
I was at the beach with my best friend, Shelby. We were at a fancy restaurant.
(me) "Mmm... yes mam. I'll get your clam chowder, and shrimp salad, and lobster cooked medium-rare, and AIY YIY YIY! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT????!!!!!!"
(Waitress) "Oysters. Its for your Mom and dad, and friends mom and dad. Wanna try some? I'll put it on your order."
(Me) "No, thanks, mam. I think you can cross out my order. I think I lost my appetite."
(Waitress) "No, problem! Have a nice evening."
(Me) "Gee thanks. Do you REALLY THINK I'LL HAVE A NICE EVENING WITH THAT DISGUSTING FOOD IN MY MIND? HUH? HUH?"
(Shelby) "Yeah, that looks desgusting."
(Me) "I'll try it if you try it."
(Shelby) "But I don't wanna."
(Me) "I don't either."
(Shelby) "Fine."
SLURP!
(Shelby) * HAAAACK* *GAAAAG* "Yeah, Reagan. Their-" *HAAAAACK* "Great!" *COUGH*
(Me) "I hate promising to do something before I think it through."
SLURP!
(Me) *COUGH* "WHAD'YA MEAN THEIR GREAT?" *GAG*
(Shelby) "I pretended."
(Me) "You are a waaaaaay to good pretender."
*we each get drink of water*
Sadly, I've fallen for this more than once. Maybe twice. Okay, maybe not twice. Maybe three times.
I was at the beach with my best friend, Shelby. We were at a fancy restaurant.
(me) "Mmm... yes mam. I'll get your clam chowder, and shrimp salad, and lobster cooked medium-rare, and AIY YIY YIY! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT????!!!!!!"
(Waitress) "Oysters. Its for your Mom and dad, and friends mom and dad. Wanna try some? I'll put it on your order."
(Me) "No, thanks, mam. I think you can cross out my order. I think I lost my appetite."
(Waitress) "No, problem! Have a nice evening."
(Me) "Gee thanks. Do you REALLY THINK I'LL HAVE A NICE EVENING WITH THAT DISGUSTING FOOD IN MY MIND? HUH? HUH?"
(Shelby) "Yeah, that looks desgusting."
(Me) "I'll try it if you try it."
(Shelby) "But I don't wanna."
(Me) "I don't either."
(Shelby) "Fine."
SLURP!
(Shelby) * HAAAACK* *GAAAAG* "Yeah, Reagan. Their-" *HAAAAACK* "Great!" *COUGH*
(Me) "I hate promising to do something before I think it through."
SLURP!
(Me) *COUGH* "WHAD'YA MEAN THEIR GREAT?" *GAG*
(Shelby) "I pretended."
(Me) "You are a waaaaaay to good pretender."
*we each get drink of water*
Sadly, I've fallen for this more than once. Maybe twice. Okay, maybe not twice. Maybe three times.
5 things to mock
I'm taking a break from sleeping cutie to name 10 things to mock.
Thing number 1: A fabric color on a certain furniture magazine I can't actually remember. Now, why would I mock this? Well, it's color was fine. It was a nice weave. It came on a variety of items, like curtains, couches, table-cloths... well, this is why I mock it. It's NAME. The fabric's color name was camel. Who name's a fabric color camel?!!! Maybe caramel. But this was camel.
Thing number 2: All about that bass. Listen to the lyrics. Then you'll know why. Here are some. "I got that boom-boom dat aw da boys chase" WHAT EVEN? What's boom-boom? Thunder? A vacuum? "I got that va-cuum dat aw da boys chase"
Thing number 3: Cooties. Not cute, as in adorable. Coot. As in gross. I have some magic immune system to these things. By that, I mean boys: Don't expect me to scream and run from you. If you do: Then i'll chase you. And you'll end up removing your face from your intestines. Then you really WILL be running from me.
Thing number 4: Why bass is spelled B-A-S-S and not B-A-S-E. Is your basement called a bassment? Do you run to home bass?
Thing number 5: Let it go. Let it go... let it go... can't hold it back anymore... At first, when Elsa sung that song, I thought she was talking about letting the song go.
Thing number 1: A fabric color on a certain furniture magazine I can't actually remember. Now, why would I mock this? Well, it's color was fine. It was a nice weave. It came on a variety of items, like curtains, couches, table-cloths... well, this is why I mock it. It's NAME. The fabric's color name was camel. Who name's a fabric color camel?!!! Maybe caramel. But this was camel.
Thing number 2: All about that bass. Listen to the lyrics. Then you'll know why. Here are some. "I got that boom-boom dat aw da boys chase" WHAT EVEN? What's boom-boom? Thunder? A vacuum? "I got that va-cuum dat aw da boys chase"
Thing number 3: Cooties. Not cute, as in adorable. Coot. As in gross. I have some magic immune system to these things. By that, I mean boys: Don't expect me to scream and run from you. If you do: Then i'll chase you. And you'll end up removing your face from your intestines. Then you really WILL be running from me.
Thing number 4: Why bass is spelled B-A-S-S and not B-A-S-E. Is your basement called a bassment? Do you run to home bass?
Thing number 5: Let it go. Let it go... let it go... can't hold it back anymore... At first, when Elsa sung that song, I thought she was talking about letting the song go.
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Thank you so much!
Hi. This is a post to say how much I'm thankful for you guys and I hope you enjoy reading my blog as I enjoy writing it. There are times when I just can't write and sometimes there are periods of times. I am really sorry for those because I know how important it is to write and keep this blog interesting. This post is to say thank you truly.
Thank you for youtubers who read this for entertainment.
Thank you for family who is always there and reads this for a laugh or two because they know how much this means to me.
Thank you to friends who read this blog weekly and those who read it yearly. I know they are always there.
Thank you to friends who tell others about this blog because they know others will like it.
Thank you for those going through tough times who read this daily because it makes them laugh and forget about those hard times.
Thank you to the people who created blogspot that check in with each person for hints about how to stay safe!
Thank you for my best friend Shelby and her brother Parker! Remember to check out their blogs too!
And thank you for my 1050 views!
Thank you sooo much! Remember to check in monthly! I hope I always have something for you to read!
Thank you for youtubers who read this for entertainment.
Thank you for family who is always there and reads this for a laugh or two because they know how much this means to me.
Thank you to friends who read this blog weekly and those who read it yearly. I know they are always there.
Thank you to friends who tell others about this blog because they know others will like it.
Thank you for those going through tough times who read this daily because it makes them laugh and forget about those hard times.
Thank you to the people who created blogspot that check in with each person for hints about how to stay safe!
Thank you for my best friend Shelby and her brother Parker! Remember to check out their blogs too!
And thank you for my 1050 views!
Thank you sooo much! Remember to check in monthly! I hope I always have something for you to read!
Sleeping cutie 3
As Graceleman began to pack her bags, the fairy (madam annoyingness) told Graceleman there was no time. It was a leave now or leave forever. She Sadly glanced a at the picture of the prince she once fell in love with, prince Lucky the first. But she had no time to mourn the fact she would probably never see that picture again, and in nothing but a light jacket she sprinted out of the cottage with the fairys into the sled pulled by pegusi. (Plural for pegusus).
Hugolofent continued to tell about the loved Graceleman and lured King Bishop III and Olivercatolot into his deep plan or quest to find this princess and end her forever. But the two Gullible animals (well, one gullible animal of course I'm talking about Ollie) had no clue about this cats plan and insisted on finding Graceleman's cottage. Closer and closer Hugolofents plan began to become what he had wanted and believed he deserved a long time ago.
(Bishop) "Oliver! You passed out twice!"
(Oliver) "I don't care! It's not my fault I'm on a sugar high because YOU left the doggie treats out!"
(Bishop) "I put them away. You got them out again."
(Oliver) "Exactly! It's not my fault YOU didn't hide them from me!"
(Bishop) groan
(Hugo) "As I was saying, my once loyal subjects of cuteness were rather fond of this princess. I am on a quest to find her. With her help I may gain back my kingdom and you might possibly have her as your bride."
(Oliver) "And what's in it for us?"
(Bishop) "Oliver, he JUST told you."
(Oliver) "I know, I just allways wanted to say those words. Princess Grace-Ellen, her we come!"
(Hugo) "Graceleman."
(Bishop) "Woah, woah woah. How do we know this isn't a trap, how do we know if this is true, and why should we trust you?"
(Oliver) "Because how else am I to find thine woman of thine lreams?"
(Bishop) "Ok fine. And by the way, you sounded perfectly mideval until you said lreams. It's dreams."
(Oliver) "Whatsever"
Hugolofent continued to tell about the loved Graceleman and lured King Bishop III and Olivercatolot into his deep plan or quest to find this princess and end her forever. But the two Gullible animals (well, one gullible animal of course I'm talking about Ollie) had no clue about this cats plan and insisted on finding Graceleman's cottage. Closer and closer Hugolofents plan began to become what he had wanted and believed he deserved a long time ago.
(Bishop) "Oliver! You passed out twice!"
(Oliver) "I don't care! It's not my fault I'm on a sugar high because YOU left the doggie treats out!"
(Bishop) "I put them away. You got them out again."
(Oliver) "Exactly! It's not my fault YOU didn't hide them from me!"
(Bishop) groan
(Hugo) "As I was saying, my once loyal subjects of cuteness were rather fond of this princess. I am on a quest to find her. With her help I may gain back my kingdom and you might possibly have her as your bride."
(Oliver) "And what's in it for us?"
(Bishop) "Oliver, he JUST told you."
(Oliver) "I know, I just allways wanted to say those words. Princess Grace-Ellen, her we come!"
(Hugo) "Graceleman."
(Bishop) "Woah, woah woah. How do we know this isn't a trap, how do we know if this is true, and why should we trust you?"
(Oliver) "Because how else am I to find thine woman of thine lreams?"
(Bishop) "Ok fine. And by the way, you sounded perfectly mideval until you said lreams. It's dreams."
(Oliver) "Whatsever"
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Sleeping cutie 2
The commen world was a place where the animals now were curious about where this new kitten Sire Hugolofent came from. And as they began to meet, this kitten began telling story's of a Beautiful legendary and far away princess named "Graceleman". Suddenly, Ollivercatolot began to act strangely. As if he wasn't strange enaugh, King Bishop III noticed Ollivercatolot was in love.
Suddenly, one of the fairys burst through the room. Sleeping Cutie! You must hide! Sir Hugolofent has come!" Immediately Graceleman began to pack her bags. Hugolofent was well remembered and feared: for he had weapons. He was no declawed and was prepared to get into war with the princess. He was jealous of her cuteness a long time ago and had returned.
(Oliver)"You will not interfere with my reagan and my cuteness. INLOSSER!"
(Bishop) "Ollie, keep your cool. And by the way, it's imposter. Hugo, explain yourself."
(Hugo) "So you know my name is Hugo. I am only a few months old according to kitty rulles but I am young in human years. I come from the kingdom alorianfabon and care very much for my once loyal for cuteness subjects. Ever since Graceleman."
(Olliver) "I don't care about your fancy-shmancy pants from kingdom alorianfabonayadayada. Out! The pout floors are calling to you! And who the speck is Graceleman?"
(Hugo) "Why every princes dream! The most beautiful princess ever! She has blue eyes..."
(Olliver) "Blue eyes?"
(Hugo) "white fur..."
(Olliver) "She does?"
(Hugo) "but best of all, she's thin, furry and has the best voice!"
(Olliver) "Why my lream of all kitty's! My lride of my hope! My... Ahhhyyyyy..."
Ollie dreams and faints a little bit.
(Bishop) "WAKE UP! And by the way, Ollie its dream and bride, not lream and lride."
Suddenly, one of the fairys burst through the room. Sleeping Cutie! You must hide! Sir Hugolofent has come!" Immediately Graceleman began to pack her bags. Hugolofent was well remembered and feared: for he had weapons. He was no declawed and was prepared to get into war with the princess. He was jealous of her cuteness a long time ago and had returned.
(Oliver)"You will not interfere with my reagan and my cuteness. INLOSSER!"
(Bishop) "Ollie, keep your cool. And by the way, it's imposter. Hugo, explain yourself."
(Hugo) "So you know my name is Hugo. I am only a few months old according to kitty rulles but I am young in human years. I come from the kingdom alorianfabon and care very much for my once loyal for cuteness subjects. Ever since Graceleman."
(Olliver) "I don't care about your fancy-shmancy pants from kingdom alorianfabonayadayada. Out! The pout floors are calling to you! And who the speck is Graceleman?"
(Hugo) "Why every princes dream! The most beautiful princess ever! She has blue eyes..."
(Olliver) "Blue eyes?"
(Hugo) "white fur..."
(Olliver) "She does?"
(Hugo) "but best of all, she's thin, furry and has the best voice!"
(Olliver) "Why my lream of all kitty's! My lride of my hope! My... Ahhhyyyyy..."
Ollie dreams and faints a little bit.
(Bishop) "WAKE UP! And by the way, Ollie its dream and bride, not lream and lride."
Sleeping beauty contest!
Hello. Sorry I couldn't write in like FOREVER! My friends Parker and Shelby have started on a sleeping beauty contest. I wan't in with the fun! Be sure to check out their blogs!
Shelby:
themilkinparlor.blogspot.com
Parker
narrowpathfarm.blogspot.com
Sleeping cutie
the sun shown in the window and a chilly breeze blew into the small cottage of sleeping cutie. A bird or two sat comfortably on the windowsill. "Brrrr!" Shouted the princess. She shut the window. Sleeping cutie, or "Graceleman" was every princes dream wife. EVERY prince. It wasn't long before news spread to the commen world about such a beauty described in each sentence about Graceleman!
Indeed the one's in the commen world would reach this news none other than prince Olivercatolot and king Bishop III. After a recent encounter with a new kitten known as "Sire Hugolofent", the two lads where tired out and seemed the beauty of such a cat as their bride and pride. The story starts here.
(Oliver) "HELP! Bishop! There is a steeevel cat REAGAN ADOPTED! Save me!!!!!"
(Bishop) "You mean evil, not steeevel."
(Oliver) "Whats tever! Save me from being no longer adored for my uncontainable cuteness before it's too late!"
(Bishop) "Ollie, for your information I don't think you have uncontainable cuteness. But what is it that you wan't?
(Ollie) "KITTEN!ADORABLE!REAGANPLAYSWITHMORETHANME!"
Oliver passes out.
Shelby:
themilkinparlor.blogspot.com
Parker
narrowpathfarm.blogspot.com
Sleeping cutie
the sun shown in the window and a chilly breeze blew into the small cottage of sleeping cutie. A bird or two sat comfortably on the windowsill. "Brrrr!" Shouted the princess. She shut the window. Sleeping cutie, or "Graceleman" was every princes dream wife. EVERY prince. It wasn't long before news spread to the commen world about such a beauty described in each sentence about Graceleman!
Indeed the one's in the commen world would reach this news none other than prince Olivercatolot and king Bishop III. After a recent encounter with a new kitten known as "Sire Hugolofent", the two lads where tired out and seemed the beauty of such a cat as their bride and pride. The story starts here.
(Oliver) "HELP! Bishop! There is a steeevel cat REAGAN ADOPTED! Save me!!!!!"
(Bishop) "You mean evil, not steeevel."
(Oliver) "Whats tever! Save me from being no longer adored for my uncontainable cuteness before it's too late!"
(Bishop) "Ollie, for your information I don't think you have uncontainable cuteness. But what is it that you wan't?
(Ollie) "KITTEN!ADORABLE!REAGANPLAYSWITHMORETHANME!"
Oliver passes out.
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Ch 3, Hitting the road. Please, by the way, If you've already read ch. 2, read it again because I missed something!
"Allright. Now that everything is said, let's hit the road!" Bishop says. "Hmm, hittheroad, hittheroad, Oooh! Me! Me! Me! I got it!" He says, zooming towards the road.
"DIE! DIE! DIE!"
Ollie screams, pounding the road with his fist. "I didn't mean literally!" Moans bishop, burying his face in his paws. "OoOo. I get it! We need to hit the sidewalk.
"CHARGE!"
Ollie whizzes past you. "NO! STOP IT RIGHT THERE!" Screams bishop. "Oh, well why didn't you say so? he, he!"
Pounce, bounce,
Pounce
"Do you like Oliver? you ask. "I really don't know." Says Bishop. You turn around seeing Ollie pounce towards a butterfly like a second pinkie pie. "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! YOU ARE FALSELY ACCUSED OF A STEALING BONE CRIME!" Ollie screams energetically.
"I just made up my mind." Says bishop.
"DIE! DIE! DIE!"
Ollie screams, pounding the road with his fist. "I didn't mean literally!" Moans bishop, burying his face in his paws. "OoOo. I get it! We need to hit the sidewalk.
"CHARGE!"
Ollie whizzes past you. "NO! STOP IT RIGHT THERE!" Screams bishop. "Oh, well why didn't you say so? he, he!"
Pounce, bounce,
Pounce
"Do you like Oliver? you ask. "I really don't know." Says Bishop. You turn around seeing Ollie pounce towards a butterfly like a second pinkie pie. "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! YOU ARE FALSELY ACCUSED OF A STEALING BONE CRIME!" Ollie screams energetically.
"I just made up my mind." Says bishop.
Rabbit for dinner.
Lets just get the questions cleared in your mind:
Yes, it tasted like chicken.
No, I did not puke.
Yes, I wanted to puke.
Yes, It was not boneless.
Yes, After one bite I lost my appetite.
Now that thats cleared, lets go over some science. If you feed a deer different weeds over the year the flavor will be gamy. Yes it will absorb all the nutrition in such weeds. And the same thing with a cow: If all it was fed until the day it was slottered (Howerver you spell that) was milk, then it's steak would be very fatty and tender. This is what a rabbit does with it's food:
When Rabbits eat there food they then poop a wet poop out. But then, they eat that wet poop to get the nutrition they missed the first time. After they poop the poop out, they poop a dry poop. That poop they do not eat.
Yes, If mom had just told me it was chicken I would be MUCH, MUCH happier.
One day I'm A Smoothie splasher, Next day I'm a Rabbit regurgitater.
What is WRONG with me?!
Yes, it tasted like chicken.
No, I did not puke.
Yes, I wanted to puke.
Yes, It was not boneless.
Yes, After one bite I lost my appetite.
Now that thats cleared, lets go over some science. If you feed a deer different weeds over the year the flavor will be gamy. Yes it will absorb all the nutrition in such weeds. And the same thing with a cow: If all it was fed until the day it was slottered (Howerver you spell that) was milk, then it's steak would be very fatty and tender. This is what a rabbit does with it's food:
When Rabbits eat there food they then poop a wet poop out. But then, they eat that wet poop to get the nutrition they missed the first time. After they poop the poop out, they poop a dry poop. That poop they do not eat.
Yes, If mom had just told me it was chicken I would be MUCH, MUCH happier.
One day I'm A Smoothie splasher, Next day I'm a Rabbit regurgitater.
What is WRONG with me?!
Friday, June 27, 2014
Extreme incident
(Next day) Ok. Let me take a break from the book and tell you an extreme incident about a few minutes ago. And its called :
I was making a smoothie and there was something on the side and so I called my mom in to fix it and it was on high and so when I turned it off I accidentally turned it off on high so when mom put her spoon in the top to fix it I tried to turn it on low and I accidentally flicked the switch which turned it on again.
Okay! fine. I said it. And you can only imagine what happens next, no. It did not go everywhere. Good guess!:
BAM! Staining smoothie smothered everywhere. On mom! On floor! On counter! and then once again…
BAM! "REAGAN CLAIR PRYOR! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!"
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I did not mean for any of this to happen!"
So yes. That is my smoothie story. And now I am in my room thinking about what just happened here.
What just happened here?
I was making a smoothie and there was something on the side and so I called my mom in to fix it and it was on high and so when I turned it off I accidentally turned it off on high so when mom put her spoon in the top to fix it I tried to turn it on low and I accidentally flicked the switch which turned it on again.
Okay! fine. I said it. And you can only imagine what happens next, no. It did not go everywhere. Good guess!:
BAM! Staining smoothie smothered everywhere. On mom! On floor! On counter! and then once again…
BAM! "REAGAN CLAIR PRYOR! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!"
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I did not mean for any of this to happen!"
So yes. That is my smoothie story. And now I am in my room thinking about what just happened here.
What just happened here?
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Ch. 2, Ollie top detective
"As you know, I am Oliver top defective. And I am here to help you solve your clase."
You decide not to correct Oliver on his terrible Grammar. "I have three sues to help us solve this clase. First, the sandwich I had for lunch. "It has a mysterious BITE MARK IN IT!" Ollie screeches. "Thats yours." Mutters Bishop.
"No it is not. Ever wondered why its called a sandWICH?! This right here could be a clase by the mysterious bone-stealing which made of sand who went around splash-potioning people!"
Ollie shouts.
"OLLIE! Did you make that up?" Bishop moans. "Yep! The second sue is bishops play stick stuffy. IT HAS GAGGER STUFF RINGED AROUND IT'S NECK!" Ollie screams.
"Clue Ollie, not sue. And thats the stuffing from inside of it." Bishop says, putting his paw over his face. "And alas but not alease, the sue that will help us solve all our problems is: THIS PEANUT BUTTER JAR I FOUND NEXT TO THE MYSTERIOUS SANDWICH! With a bite mark."
Ollie added. You shake your head. Ollie is a terrible detective. "The peanut butter jar used to make the peanut butter sandwich you had a bite in for lunch? Ooooh, scary." Says bishop. "I Know!" Ollie chants.
"That darn cat doesn't understand Sarcasm." Bishop says. "No kidding." you say. "Whats sarcasm?! I want some!" Ollie chants, pouncing and bouncing around you.
"OLLIE! YOU DON'T EVEN NO WHAT SARCASM IS! IT DOESN'T EVEN TASTE GOOD!" yells bishop. "HUH!" Ollie loudly in hails. "Give me liberty or give me death! he won't give me sarcasm." Ollie cries.
It's a good thing you hired Ollie, top defective :)
You decide not to correct Oliver on his terrible Grammar. "I have three sues to help us solve this clase. First, the sandwich I had for lunch. "It has a mysterious BITE MARK IN IT!" Ollie screeches. "Thats yours." Mutters Bishop.
"No it is not. Ever wondered why its called a sandWICH?! This right here could be a clase by the mysterious bone-stealing which made of sand who went around splash-potioning people!"
Ollie shouts.
"OLLIE! Did you make that up?" Bishop moans. "Yep! The second sue is bishops play stick stuffy. IT HAS GAGGER STUFF RINGED AROUND IT'S NECK!" Ollie screams.
"Clue Ollie, not sue. And thats the stuffing from inside of it." Bishop says, putting his paw over his face. "And alas but not alease, the sue that will help us solve all our problems is: THIS PEANUT BUTTER JAR I FOUND NEXT TO THE MYSTERIOUS SANDWICH! With a bite mark."
Ollie added. You shake your head. Ollie is a terrible detective. "The peanut butter jar used to make the peanut butter sandwich you had a bite in for lunch? Ooooh, scary." Says bishop. "I Know!" Ollie chants.
"That darn cat doesn't understand Sarcasm." Bishop says. "No kidding." you say. "Whats sarcasm?! I want some!" Ollie chants, pouncing and bouncing around you.
"OLLIE! YOU DON'T EVEN NO WHAT SARCASM IS! IT DOESN'T EVEN TASTE GOOD!" yells bishop. "HUH!" Ollie loudly in hails. "Give me liberty or give me death! he won't give me sarcasm." Ollie cries.
It's a good thing you hired Ollie, top defective :)
Ch. 1, Meet me
"You know what they call me, the mystery guy." Ollie says. "No one calls you that!" Says Bishop. You sit there, trying to calm the two down before they gat into ANOTHER argument. Unfortunately, it may be to late. You hired Ollie the cat, and bishop the german shepherd dog. You are a Dalmatian, and your bone has gone missing.
"Please, Aren't you going to even meet me? or keep arguing?" you say impatiently. Because all day long, the two have been arguing. "Excuse me, I am so very sorry. I meant to ask you what your name wa…" "No, Bishop. I am the head defective and this is my atisant dog Bishop. What is your name?" Ollie interrupts.
"You mean assistant." Bishop growls. "Whatsever." "Whatever, you mean Ollie." Bishop Corrects. "NO! I said whatsever and I MEANT IT!"Ollie screams, turning toward you. "I'm Sorry, I meant to say whatever."
"Please meet me, I don't have all day and I need that bone In a week! My name is Dancer." You say. "Why its a wedge-er to meet you!"
"Pleasure, Not wedge-er." Bishop moans. "MEET ME!" you shout. You knew somewhere, sometime
you would hit the road. But that might take a while. And with all the arguing, you might even be the one discovering the bone in a week...
"Please, Aren't you going to even meet me? or keep arguing?" you say impatiently. Because all day long, the two have been arguing. "Excuse me, I am so very sorry. I meant to ask you what your name wa…" "No, Bishop. I am the head defective and this is my atisant dog Bishop. What is your name?" Ollie interrupts.
"You mean assistant." Bishop growls. "Whatsever." "Whatever, you mean Ollie." Bishop Corrects. "NO! I said whatsever and I MEANT IT!"Ollie screams, turning toward you. "I'm Sorry, I meant to say whatever."
"Please meet me, I don't have all day and I need that bone In a week! My name is Dancer." You say. "Why its a wedge-er to meet you!"
"Pleasure, Not wedge-er." Bishop moans. "MEET ME!" you shout. You knew somewhere, sometime
you would hit the road. But that might take a while. And with all the arguing, you might even be the one discovering the bone in a week...
My new Book
Okay. You read the tidal, and it said my new book! I will post it in Chapters. No peeks! Let me just ask you one thing about it, would you hire Ollie and bishops detective agency?
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Let it Go (Shut your face)
Okay, So I'm assuming you've all heard the obnoxious song "Let it go"? Well, I have. And to be honest, the only reason I sing it is because I want other people to let the song go. I made up this version. Sing it to the tune of "Let it Go".
Snow Glows white on the mountain tonight, So many footprints to be seen.
Kingdom of Desperation! And it looks Like, That is me.
The wind is howling like the singing choir inside,
Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried.
Don't let them in, don't let them sing! Be the quiet girl you always have to be!
Cover-ears, don't fear! Don't Let them hear! Well now they've heard!
Shut your face… Shut your Face! Can't hold it back anymore!
Shut your Face! Shut your face… Turn away and slam the door.
I do care! What there going to sing.
Don't let the song rage on…
'cause it always bothered me anyway.
The song is spiraling through the air and to the Ground!
Everywhere I look there are music notes, all around!
The song is like an evil loud sonic boom!
I'm never going back. 'Cause it'll be Back soon!
Snow Glows white on the mountain tonight, So many footprints to be seen.
Kingdom of Desperation! And it looks Like, That is me.
The wind is howling like the singing choir inside,
Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried.
Don't let them in, don't let them sing! Be the quiet girl you always have to be!
Cover-ears, don't fear! Don't Let them hear! Well now they've heard!
Shut your face… Shut your Face! Can't hold it back anymore!
Shut your Face! Shut your face… Turn away and slam the door.
I do care! What there going to sing.
Don't let the song rage on…
'cause it always bothered me anyway.
The song is spiraling through the air and to the Ground!
Everywhere I look there are music notes, all around!
The song is like an evil loud sonic boom!
I'm never going back. 'Cause it'll be Back soon!
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Shedding
It's Shedding season. That means that Ollie and Bishop are Loosing they're fur.
(Ollie) "Don't panic Ollie… it's just a little fur. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Vroom!
"BBBIIIIISSSHHHHOOOOP! HELP!!!! IM GOING TO BE NAKED! SAVE ME FROM MY WHISKERS!"
(Bishop) "Great. Your now afraid of your whiskers. And I know your not… but you do a terrible job of exclaiming what REALLY happens."
(Ollie) "NO! Sleariousmee! I am afraid of my Whiskers!"
(Bishop) "Seriously."
(Ollie) "Whats tever. It all began this morning. I was on my way to get Reagan's marker, than BAM! It hit me! I was sledding! I mean shedding!"
(Bishop) "Ollie, it hit me the day my mom told me what shedding WAS. I fail to see the problem."
(Ollie) "But you see, I had made an oalth, I mean oath, last year, that I would never shed again. AND I CAN'T DO THAT BECAUSE I REALIZED IT HAPPENS MATICAUTOLY! AND I LIED TO MY COUNTRY!"
(Bishop) "Automatically. And I still fail to see the big deal."
(Ollie) "Well, I failed to be a truthful cat. But that's not the whole doink! I thought I was holding a cat hair, but it wasn't a cat hair!"
(Bishop) "Point, not doink. And let me guess it was a dog hair. I fail to see the reason to your reaction. I failed three times at this point! What's the big whoop?"
(Ollie) "No, not a dog hair. Not a cat hair. Not a Horse hair. Not a human hair. Not a wild man-eating chimpanzee hair. IT WAS A WHISKER! THAT'S WHAT IT WAS!"
(Bishop) "So?"
(Ollie) "IM GOING BALD!"
(Bishop) "What the…I did not see that coming!"
(Ollie) "I know! I know! I licked for months… and months… and months… and months and months!
-for SOLUTELY NOTHING!"
Cry's
(Bishop) "Absolutely. You mean Absolutely."
(Ollie) "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU DOG?! LIKE IM BALLING AND YOU HAVE ONLY CARES FOR MY VOVABVULARY!"
(Bishop) "Im SORRY IM SORRY! AND YOU MEAN VOCABULARY! IM TRYING TO ONLY HELP YOU WITH YOUR WORDS! AND I DONT CARE BECAUSE EVERY ANIMAL LOOSES HAIRS AND WHISKERS AND IT ALWAYS GROWS BACK! YOUR NOT GOING BALD!"
(Ollie) "Oh. Why didn't you just say so?"
pounce, bounce, pounce
(Bishop) "That cat is off his rocker."
(Ollie) "Don't panic Ollie… it's just a little fur. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Vroom!
"BBBIIIIISSSHHHHOOOOP! HELP!!!! IM GOING TO BE NAKED! SAVE ME FROM MY WHISKERS!"
(Bishop) "Great. Your now afraid of your whiskers. And I know your not… but you do a terrible job of exclaiming what REALLY happens."
(Ollie) "NO! Sleariousmee! I am afraid of my Whiskers!"
(Bishop) "Seriously."
(Ollie) "Whats tever. It all began this morning. I was on my way to get Reagan's marker, than BAM! It hit me! I was sledding! I mean shedding!"
(Bishop) "Ollie, it hit me the day my mom told me what shedding WAS. I fail to see the problem."
(Ollie) "But you see, I had made an oalth, I mean oath, last year, that I would never shed again. AND I CAN'T DO THAT BECAUSE I REALIZED IT HAPPENS MATICAUTOLY! AND I LIED TO MY COUNTRY!"
(Bishop) "Automatically. And I still fail to see the big deal."
(Ollie) "Well, I failed to be a truthful cat. But that's not the whole doink! I thought I was holding a cat hair, but it wasn't a cat hair!"
(Bishop) "Point, not doink. And let me guess it was a dog hair. I fail to see the reason to your reaction. I failed three times at this point! What's the big whoop?"
(Ollie) "No, not a dog hair. Not a cat hair. Not a Horse hair. Not a human hair. Not a wild man-eating chimpanzee hair. IT WAS A WHISKER! THAT'S WHAT IT WAS!"
(Bishop) "So?"
(Ollie) "IM GOING BALD!"
(Bishop) "What the…I did not see that coming!"
(Ollie) "I know! I know! I licked for months… and months… and months… and months and months!
-for SOLUTELY NOTHING!"
Cry's
(Bishop) "Absolutely. You mean Absolutely."
(Ollie) "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU DOG?! LIKE IM BALLING AND YOU HAVE ONLY CARES FOR MY VOVABVULARY!"
(Bishop) "Im SORRY IM SORRY! AND YOU MEAN VOCABULARY! IM TRYING TO ONLY HELP YOU WITH YOUR WORDS! AND I DONT CARE BECAUSE EVERY ANIMAL LOOSES HAIRS AND WHISKERS AND IT ALWAYS GROWS BACK! YOUR NOT GOING BALD!"
(Ollie) "Oh. Why didn't you just say so?"
pounce, bounce, pounce
(Bishop) "That cat is off his rocker."
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Super Ollie!
(Ollie) "Da da da duh duh! do dee do da dooo! La dee do dum do! Bum dee do da…"
(Bishop) "Why are you singing star wars Oliver?"
(Ollie) "Because."
(Bishop) "Because why?"
(Ollie) "Because. Now scoot your boot and get a move on! There depending on me! You know not everybody can hang themselves."
(Bishop) "Who's depending on you to kill them? And why would I let you through to do something like that?"
(Ollie) "No, silly. Why would anyone wait on me to do that?"
(Bishop) "You said it boy, not me."
(Ollie) "There waiting on me To SAVE them."
(Bishop) "Ollie. You do realize hanging yourself is killing yourself. There trying to commit suicide."
(Ollie) "That is not true! You nasty nastiness! You are officially on my naughty list. "
(Bishop) "What naughty list? Your not Santa."
(Ollie) "BISHOP! WHY DON'T YOU EVER LISTEN TO ME! SOMEONE IS HANGING OF A 5 STORY BUILDING AND I NEED TO SAVE THEM! THEY ARE STILL IN THERE, HANGING THEMSELVES! THEY WILL FALL OFF IF I DON'T GET TO THEM SOON AND YOU ARE HOLDING UP THE SCOOO- DEL!"
(Bishop) "What's a scoo-del? Oh, you mean a schedule. You have terrible reading issues! Oh, well in that case, run along. Tell them I said hi."
(Ollie) "Okay. HERE I COME! DON'T WORRY! I'LL SAVE YOU!"
Bounce, pounce, bounce!
(Bishop) "Okay. Bye Ollie. Wait, what? I'M COMING WITH YOU! THIS IS A JOB FOR MAN'S BEST FREIND! Pant! pant! pant!"
(Ollie) "Here you go! I'll get you!"
(Bishop) "Ollie! You just propositioned a box."
(Ollie) "It's called IMAG- een- ing."
(Bishop) "All that fuss for this? And you mean imagining. Your reading skills are really the worst."
(Bishop) "Why are you singing star wars Oliver?"
(Ollie) "Because."
(Bishop) "Because why?"
(Ollie) "Because. Now scoot your boot and get a move on! There depending on me! You know not everybody can hang themselves."
(Bishop) "Who's depending on you to kill them? And why would I let you through to do something like that?"
(Ollie) "No, silly. Why would anyone wait on me to do that?"
(Bishop) "You said it boy, not me."
(Ollie) "There waiting on me To SAVE them."
(Bishop) "Ollie. You do realize hanging yourself is killing yourself. There trying to commit suicide."
(Ollie) "That is not true! You nasty nastiness! You are officially on my naughty list. "
(Bishop) "What naughty list? Your not Santa."
(Ollie) "BISHOP! WHY DON'T YOU EVER LISTEN TO ME! SOMEONE IS HANGING OF A 5 STORY BUILDING AND I NEED TO SAVE THEM! THEY ARE STILL IN THERE, HANGING THEMSELVES! THEY WILL FALL OFF IF I DON'T GET TO THEM SOON AND YOU ARE HOLDING UP THE SCOOO- DEL!"
(Bishop) "What's a scoo-del? Oh, you mean a schedule. You have terrible reading issues! Oh, well in that case, run along. Tell them I said hi."
(Ollie) "Okay. HERE I COME! DON'T WORRY! I'LL SAVE YOU!"
Bounce, pounce, bounce!
(Bishop) "Okay. Bye Ollie. Wait, what? I'M COMING WITH YOU! THIS IS A JOB FOR MAN'S BEST FREIND! Pant! pant! pant!"
(Ollie) "Here you go! I'll get you!"
(Bishop) "Ollie! You just propositioned a box."
(Ollie) "It's called IMAG- een- ing."
(Bishop) "All that fuss for this? And you mean imagining. Your reading skills are really the worst."
This is my new song
Two days ago, I wrote a song on garageband called Dreams. It was my best song of all the songs i wrote, so i decided to put it on my blog. Here it is! Click on "Heres my new song" It's the link.
Here's my song!
Here's my song!
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